Not-So-Coincidental Coincidences

You know how you sometimes have those experiences of coincidences, or deja vu, that thrust two seemingly completely different aspects of your life together? I love those moments. Finding ways that I can draw all the different experiences of my life into a common theme helps me make sense of the insensible and find purpose in those, at first random, little day-to-day happenings. I try to search out these moments but have found time and time again that they are revealed to me always when I least expect them. As I've been stumbling across many of them recently I feel compelled to share them.

I spent a good portion of last evening catching up on some reading, particularly 'The Power of Myth' by Joseph Campbell. A fascinating book, but I don't have time to expound upon it's great importance right now. In this particular section, Campbell is talking about the changing in the importantce of spiritual principles as society grows and progresses forward in technological advancements. He says, 'You can tell what's informing a society by what the tallest building is. When you approach a medieval town, the cathedral is the tallest thing in the place. When you approach an eighteenth-century town, it is the political palace that's the tallest thing in the place. And when you approach a modern city, the tallest places are the office buildings, the centers of economic life.' Not only is this a representation of technology overcoming spiritualism, but it is also a mark of man overcoming nature, a paradoxical mistake as we cannot control nature nor can we survive without it. As we thrust ourselves further away from nature and spirituality, we slowly lose the meaning of their purpose in our lives and our lives become purposeless.
Not more than an hour later, I watched a lesser-known movie I came accross on Netflix titled 'Spring Forward' (to be honest, I partly chose it because I thought it would be ironically hilarious to watch such an aptly titled movie on the eve of Daylight Savings Time), made years ago and starring Ned Beatty and Liev  Schreiber. The two play an older and younger man whose relationship evolves throughout the course of the  movie through examining their interaction as they work together. A lot of the conversations include interjections by Liev's character with musings on mysticism and how the spiritual, or unconscious, plays into the conscious man's world. Really just a fascinating movie; I highly recommend it. Anyway, Liev brings up the same exact thing Campbell did, practically verbatim. He ends saying, 'There's no room in society for spiritualism now... Maybe that's why men feel empty at their jobs.' What are the odds that I would come across the same motif in such seemingly random, unconnected ways?

This afternoon, I was continuing my reading in a different book, 'Alchemical Psychology' by Thom Cavalli, and came accross a section in which he talked about Aristotle's belief that 'the world is borne out of one archetypal form from which all things enter into palpable manifestation when they have multiplied four times. One is the absolute reality represented by stone, two is the level of opposites, three brings us outside the parameters of ordinary time, and four returns us, renewed and aware, to the realm of reality... in which consciousness returns, fully integrated, enlightened and filled with light.' I was immediately reminded of St. Augustine's Four States of Human Freedom, a concept I learned about a few weeks ago in my World Religions class. These are the four states:
1. The Innocent Man: Humans were able to sin, and not able to sin. This was the state of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden before the Fall. Remember that Adam was formed from the earth, and he was in one accord with God and nature.
2. The Fallen Man: Humans are not able not to sin. This is basically Original Sin: since the Fall, every man is born into this state in which we are definitively separated from divinity through sin, and sin is the opposite of all that God is.
3. The Regenerate Man: Humans regain the ability not to sin. This is the Christian, who has the presence of the Holy Spirit in his heart. Though we do not become sinless at this state, we have entered into a state of enlightenment which cannot be attained by the Fallen Man.
4. The Glorified Man: Humans are unable to sin. This state happens when you enter Heaven, as sin does not exist in Heaven. The second coming of Christ will bring about a new Heaven and a new Earth, which I see as the return to the first state but fully integrated and enlightened, ergo us being back in the Garden of Eden but unable to sin.

Though Cavalli does not allude to this connection and connects Aristotle's theory to different principles, I couldn't help but see the correlation. There is also an adverse correlation between these two examples of coincidence that I have just realized. The first one examined humanity's regression from spirituality and purpose, while the second example examined humanity's progression toward spirituality and purpose. The decisive factor is the salvation that was won through the act of Jesus Christ dying on the cross and the acceptance of this salvation into our hearts.
I find this over-arching theme simply fascinating and can't but marvel at the way in which God works. As I continue along my path, I will strive to keep learning as much as I can whilst keeping my mind and heart open so that I can recognize the ties that bind the randomocity of my life together in increasing awareness of God's plan for me.

Himalaya Bound

Some of you may have gathered from my teasers the last few days that I'm planning on doing something next year that I believe will be truly life-changing. I've waited to actually divulge any details until I recieved finite confirmation that the opportunity was available to me and also so I could tell my family first. I feel they wouldn't be very appreciatve if I told all my friends about a choice like this before them : )

I've been wanting for a long time to go on a mission trip, for all of the same reasons you yourself have gone on or found value in them. My problem was not ever being able to figure out when and how it would be accomplished (basically the same problem everyone has with those sorts of things). Well, time and resources have been made available to me and I'm grasping the chance while I have it.

Next February, I will be moving to India. For five months. I will be going by myself and not with a specific group or missionary team, though there will be an ever-changing community at the place I will be living. I am going through International Volunteer Headquarters (IVHQ), a reputable, affordable and high-quality organization that sends over 3,000 people abroad to help others annually. This is not a Christian/mission organization, though that detail doesn't matter a whole bunch to me. I am a Christian no matter what organization I work through, and I show that through my words, actions and demeanor. Each and every time you interact with someone is a mission trip, if you think about it. This is no different; just a new group of people to serve! And I'm going to be serving children. I'll be doing childcare work: engaging with street kids and those from low income families while their parents work during the day and teaching some english, helping them learn basic life skills and lessons and really just caring for them by spending active time with  them.

I'll be moving to the northeastern city of Palampur, the tea leaf capital of northern India. It's located right at the foot of the Himalayas with beautiful scenery and, of course, rich culture. The home of the Dalai Llama and the seat of  the exiled government of Tibet, Dharamsala, is only about 20 miles away. As I mentioned, I'll be leaving at the end of February. I could have chosen any length of time to stay over there, from two weeks to a year if I wanted. I'm going to volunteer in the childcare program for four months, and then spend a couple of weeks backpacking accross the southern parts of India and come back to the States towards the end of June.

And that's my plan! I'm extremely excited about this opportunity, and I'm glad to be able to share it with all of you. God has truly been amazing to me, and I can't but marvel at the way He puts all of the pieces in order when you never expect them to. Since I'll accomplish my AA at the end of this year, I will be at a natural stopping point before transferring to finish my BA, which I will do when I return for fall semester next year. I am also blessed to have a full time job, and I will be moving back to my parents' house (sharing a room with Micah! He's absolutely stoked) at the end of April when my lease is up. With the money I will save from this and working full time, I am able to pay for almost the whole trip, all extraneous monetary endeavors applied, without any personal financial strain. Through careful financial planning, I will not be short of my estimated by more than five hundred or so dollars.The organization will provide fundraising opportunities that should afford the rest of what I will not be able to make alone, so I'm not really worried about that whole aspect of things. I value all of you friends and only request support in the form of prayers and encouragement as I undertake this endeavor. If you decide to donate money to my cause, I would of course not refuse you but do not, by any means, feel it obligatory.  Your prayers and well-wishes are more than enough to reaffirm my mission and provide the emotional support I need.

I will post more updates as I get more information on the trip and everything else. As I only just got approved, I have not yet recieved my information packet but when I do I'll clue you in.

India, here I come!!!

One Year From Now...

This is my first divulgence to anyone, including my family... I'll tell them soon! Anyway:

I'm in the process of making plans for a HUGE event next year. I have no hesitation in stating that, if everything works out, I am on my way to a truly life-changing experience one year from now. I don't want to state what I'm planning on doing until everything gets worked out and finalized, but I will mention that I have decided after much deliberation not to transfer straight to Mt. Mercy to finish my Bachelor's after I get my AA at the end of this year. And I'll tease you with this thought: you won't be able to see me for a couple of months..... : D

What is it? What could this craziness be about? Time will tell!

Starting Over

Well, I'm back.

I didn't like my first attempt to blog at all, so I scrapped everything and am starting anew. This is really a reinvention for me in a lot of ways. Not only am I reclaiming the joy of writing that I lost for so long, but through a rediscovering of what fulfills me I am finding that my entire focus on personal fulfillment has shifted. Back to this in a bit.

Being the first post of this blog, I think it's mandated somewhere that this be the 'this is who I am!' post. Instead of waxing poetic on how I grew up and what type of candy tickles my fancy, I'll assume anyone reading this already knows a bit about who I've been. I'm going to tell you who I am now.

I. Am. Busy. So freaking busy.

And it's fantastic.

Working full time and going to school full time is something I never thought I'd be able to do. The many issues surrounding the traditional school years I went through did much to inhibit the possibility I would ever be a normal student. I was a mess for years, in a lot of ways, and I believed I was ill-suited for learning. Of course, there were so many deeper issues I hadn't dealt with that it's a wonder now that I ever passed any of my classes in high school. It's amazing how much of a toll emotional strain and stress can take on you in a society that expects things a certain way. When you don't fit the mold, it's so hard to keep up. Thankfully, I know now that the traditonal path wasn't meant for me and would have hurt me even more if I didn't get out. So here I am, almost 24 and working on my AA. Experience, trust and learning to let go have helped me become capable of being myself again.

 I have realized that I think, and therefore I am. I have realized that because I am, there is One who is greater than me. This One who is greater than me must be my creator, and He must be 'the' Creator. I have realized that I have free will, and I have used that free will to hand it over to the Creator, for the Creator will guide me down the paths that lead to Him. The path I have chosen to take is not the path the world takes. This path is untraditional and rocky. It isn't straight and smooth but long and winding and sometimes imperceptible to me. Sometimes I take detours that converge with the world's path and I tarry there a while, mingling and running on the smoothness and derisively sauntering past the little segways to the thin rocky path. Inevitably, though, I am drawn back down one of them and find myself back on the narrow way. I am able to walk on both paths, as all people are. I find myself more knowledgable about the world, because I am able to stand on my path and gaze at the world's path. I find myself connected more deeply with the Creator, because I have learned that the smooth wide path with no need for a guide can trip me up more than the narrow rocky path that requires help. I need the rocky path and the Creator to guide me and, by choosing the rocky path, I have gotten further along the road to Deep Love than I ever would have by choosing the smooth path.

I read a while back that if you want to find the career that you can be fully passionate about, you need to think back to the time you were a child and had no worries and rediscover what you did during those times that made you completely content. I struggled for a long time to reclaim that contentedness, and eventually went back to the days of Book-It and the other school reading programs. Reading made me happy. It was being able to learn about anything that excited me. No rules, no requirements. Just my imagination and me. This was a somewhat ironic discovery, because I've always been a slow reader and I have ADHD, so it can be assumed that I didn't read very much. When I was going through my troubles in high school and beyond, the joy of reading all but left me. Yet here I am again, coming around full circle. Because of my refusal to accept anything but what was deemed 'normal', I was trapping myself on the path of deception with the inability to see the segways of release. It has only been after a long, long trip that I am now able to stand outside the world and reclaim my passion. I have found release in reading and have even started writing again. I have learned that writing heals me, and I know that if it can heal me then it can heal others. There are many stumbling along the smooth path, and through my intimate knowledge of tripping the Creator can work through me to correct their footing and lead them along the segways to the rocky and sure path. The assuredness of this decision still (and probably always will) floods my soul with contentment.

Then I deemed to revisit my earlier plan of pursuing psychology. I realized that I hold a compassion and empathy for others that the Creator doesn't want me to waste; that these feelings cannot be ignored. I am self-centered through human nature but selfless through Godly nature. Godly nature has given us gifts that are utilized to show the glory of the Creator here on earth, and I believe that listening to others and helping them sort through them is a Godly gift that can't be ignored. I decided then to continue pursuing psychology. These decisions have led me to this place: A double major in English and Psychology. I have decided to pursue a masters in Marriage and Family Counseling and write on the side, and now am going to school full time to accomplish this feat. At almost 24, I am starting over and I am succeeding.

And it has never felt more right.

Thus (re)begins my journey to Deep Love.